You want to know what kills me??

Every time I log on to my daughter's donor group and someone else is pregnant again! Or even trying again. However, everybody that has tried has become successful BUT me. It makes my heart split in two. I HATE IT! I hate everything about it. I can feel my heart ripping in half. Why them? Why are they able to do it? What is wrong with Sue and I?

When we went to the psychic she also said I will never physically carry my own child again. She saw an Asian adoption in my future. I don't want to adopt a freakin' Asian kid. I WANT MY OWN!! For fucking crying out loud! How the hell did I get Jadyn so easy? This shit is for the god damn birds! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Retrieval date moved

Ok, the Dr. wants to do one more day of injections. Retrieval day is now Friday :-)

OMG MY guts HURT!!!!

So, I haven't been updating the fertility because well, I guess I just haven't wanted to talk about it. When it's the same ol same ol. It just gets tiring. This time we MIGHT actually get some where. Don't hold your breath though, you will probably pass out. I have about 30-40 follicles in there. I had a DR. appt. this morning and he said we are probably going to be doing Retrieval on Thursday! I am nervous. I just don't want it to hurt.... Apparently I am sedated or asleep ( depends on which doctor or nurse you ask). So, Hopefully that means pain free retrieval. Then he said they will do the transfer on Saturday. This best work because I am not doing it again. I am tired! I am tired of disappointment. I am tired of stabbing myself 3-4 times a day. I am tired of having blood draws. I am tired of U/S. I am tired of getting up early. Plus there are several other things I am tired of. Of course, it will/ would be much worth it if I would ever get some results!!